“THE ONLY BELT I WANT TO UNBUCKLE TO HAVE SEX IS MY PANTS BELT.”
Note: The following review goes into detail about the episode. SPOILER ALERT!
Following Forrest’s return to Review and getting shot and glorified, the requests from his sadistic fanbase continue to pour in. This week Forrest is challenged with curing a gay person and joining the mile-high club. The tasks of these reviews weren’t my favorite. There were funny moments sprinkled throughout, but the end results weren’t as satisfying as the numerous other reviews in episodes prior.
Curing a Gay: ★★
The curing homosexuality bit isn’t the best thing Review has done. It’s not because of the subject matter or anything of that nature, but instead the problem lies in a lack of result. In some way or another, these reviews have always ended with the task at hand completed, albeit in unexpected ways. This review, while I didn’t expect any sexual healing to occur, seemed to have no option but to end in failure. That’s not to say it was completely void of the show’s signature comedic style. Some funny bits were had, with Forrest pandering gay men on the streets with the hope of “straightening” them out. He did find success in finding one kid called Tim who was in search of a cure for his gayness. After many attempts to take the gay out of Tim via methods Forrest learned for a “formerly” gay therapist, Forrest decided his approach to this issue was wrong. One shouldn’t take the gay out, but instead put the hetero in. A strip club was the eureka moment here. The look of discomfort on Tim’s face as the stripper danced for him provided chuckles. Counterproductive to Forrest’s effort to exorcise Tim’s unwanted attraction, a stripper escorted Tim to a gay bar. The next day, Forrest assumed Tim went all the way with the stripper, but instead Tim found acceptance of who he is in another man. Forrest took this as a victory, oblivious to what occurred the night before.
Joining the Mile-High Club: ★★★
The next life experience for Forrest to review was joining the mile-high club. Hitting it off with the stripper from his last review, Forrest found himself dating her. Her name? Shampoo. Mistaking Shampoo for an easy lay was Forrest’s first of many mistakes. After desperately trying to get her to go into the airplane’s bathroom, Shampoo cuts Forrest down by saying, “If it was all about sex for me, I would have found somebody a lot hotter.” Since Shampoo, a professional clothes remover, rejected Forrest, his desperation intensified, leading him to find a different woman on the plane to fulfill his duty. Surprisingly, he succeeded in his search. No matter how high you are in the air, cockblocking will follow. More concerned for her safety, the adventurous woman—who was willing to gladly have sex with him in the airport—opted to stay seated during the landing of the flight. Forrest’s desperation made this segment, with him pleading to the woman that he can’t wait that long. As is the case with many women, desperation is quite the turn off, and that’s what occurred at this moment.
This flight led to San Francisco where Forrest was to pick up his son. The meeting of Forrest’s ex-wife and now ex-girlfriend had me laughing throughout. This show has now caused Forrest to destroy three relationships. If the last paragraph didn’t confirm that the thirst is indeed real, maybe this one will. All while his son and ex-stripper girlfriend are in the car, Forrest deems it appropriate, and above all necessary, to pick up a prostitute to accompany him on the flight. In another unfortunate situation, for Forrest at least, this flight was filled with recovering sex addicts on their way to an immersion therapy trip. After multiple men bid for Margaret’s physical affection, Forrest was left at the back of the line. And when his turn finally arrives, it was time for the flight to land. All isn’t lost for Forrest, though, as he gets the opportunity to join the mile-high club, albeit under an airplane blanket, in his seat and while sadly pumping away inside a hired prostitute as he locks eyes with his stripper ex-girlfriend who’s sitting next to his son. Ladies and gentlemen, Review.
I have to admit watching Forrest and his dedication to finding sex was the highlight of this episode. Review is all about the consequences, and while this episode had them, they didn’t quite match what came before. The first half was one of the weaker reviews I’ve seen on this show, but nonetheless still managed to make me laugh. What improved the episode was Forrest and his consistent, ever-growing need to join the mile-high club. Lessons are learned in this episode, leading Forrest to want to unbuckle his pants belt and only his pants belt for sex. And for that, I’m giving this episode of Review three and a half stars.
Would you hire a prostitute to have sex with you on an airplane? (Don’t answer that.) Tweet me @NerdDotMe. And be sure to follow us @YouNerded!
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